I AM THE PEDOPHILE OF YOUR LONELINESS

I am sort of obligated to do this post. I promised XTX that I would post my facebook updates if she sent me a picture of her unshaved armpit. She did.

It wasn't as good as I had imagined it. I wanted more like black wires emerging from a mayonnaise graveyard.
I will totally sell the pic if someone wants it. Seriously.

I'm sure Paul Madore would buy it. But I think he's going to be sad to see my name written on her skin.

So like I said I am obligated to post my facebook updates. Most of them are lines or titles to poems. Others are me just being a perv. Enjoy:

DEATH BY CUNT

SOUL DOUCHE

EMOTIONAL SASQUATCH

GERIATRIC ROSCOE

CULLING MY LEGEND

I JUST WANT TO WRITE POEMS BITCHES CAN BOOTY POP TO

APPLESAUCE COWBOY

FISTFUCK YOUR HEART

TASTES LIKE ASSHOLE IN THE SUN

FUCK THE FLAME

PANTY SNIFFER IN THE LIBRARY

MEATLOAF CAUCASIAN

I'M GOING TO START PRINTING MY NAME & NUMBER ON TAMPONS TO HAND OUT TO STRANGE WOMEN AT HOLLYWOOD PARTIES

ARE YOU OFFICER?

I CAN'T FEEL MY BRAIN

CRANE EROTICA

ADORABLE LIKE GRADE-SCHOOL HANDJOBS

AGNOSTIC BUTTHOLE

ANALLY PHO'D

YOU ARE MY WAR TIME FINGERFUCK

SHOTGUN ERECTION

SATIATE ME

RANDOM ACCESS MAMMARY

SLOW DRAGON IN A FAST SKY

JELLY ROLL

EXTRACURRICULAR HEADACHE

YOU CAN'T YAHTZEE ALL THE TIME

FRUIT POOPER

SEPTUAGENARIAN SANCHEZ

BUTTHOLE MOTORBOAT

SLOW KISS TRANSCENDENCE

VIDAL SOURPOON

MAYONNAISE PUSSY

CUNNILINGUS JAB

TURD CITY

BONER SONAR

CUNT DEMEANOR

83 POUNDS OF LOVE IN A 3 OUNCE HEART

SEXUALLY APPROPRIATE

HASH BLUNT

FUCK THE LAKERS; I'M GONNA GET HIGH

ASCETIC SORCERER

NERD CUNT

GORGON ORGASM

RIDE THE YOUNG

CLAYMATION SATAN

MY HEART IS ABOVE MY HEAD

HABITUAL HEBETATION

THE RUTH OF MY ANUS

KINKY WINNEBAGO

SCHOOL GIRL DIM SUM

KILL PEOPLE WHERE THEY THINK

SOFTCORE HOMO

ASHTRAY PUSSY

IF ONLY I HAD AN UZI

I WILL NEVER BE A GODDESS

CHEESEBURGER HIATUS

MORNING SATIVA WITH NIETZSCHE

MASTICATING COLON

I AM NOT A WORTHWHILE HUMAN BEING

CLASSIC JEREME DEAN

JIM J BULLOCK FOR THE WIN

ELDERLY COITUS

I'M GOING TO TAKE ALF FOR THE BLOCK, JOHN

WHEN I AM THE ONLY HUMAN ALIVE, I WILL DETEST YOUR PREVIOUS EXISTENCE

SHOTGUN FOR THE CURE

UP, ABOVE

PUSSY EMBARGO

I'M JUST HERE FOR THE BOYS WITH MOMMY ISSUES

IMMACULATE SHITHEAD

I'M JUST HERE FOR THE GIRLS WITH DADDY ISSUES

IS NOW ENEMIES WITH YOUR TERRIFIED SMILE

IS NOW FRIENDS WITH YOUR UNREQUITED LOVE

PISS HOLE POUNDER

I AM THE ASS RIPPER OF YOUR PRE-PUBESCENT , HOMO-EROTIC DREAMS

WHAT THE FUCK IS A POETESS? AND WHAT MANNER OF ASSHOLE CALLS THEMSELVES SUCH A THING

JESUS ADOLF CHRIST

SAMOAN BALLET

33 YEARS AGO I RIPPED OPEN A PUSSY. YAY FOR ME. YAY FOR LIFE.

LOS ANGELES IS THE NEW NEW YORK

SLIM JIM COUTURE

BEEF STICK TITS

I JUST WANT TO SNUGGLE

CALIFORNIA REAMING

POLISH REGGAE

OCTOGENARIAN BIKINI

CARDBOARD ORGASM

HOMOSEXUALS DON'T KISS

CALGON, DROWN MY CHILDREN AWAY

FLIRTATIOUS MONGLOID

18 YEAR OLD GIRLS TOTALLY GET ME

DIFFICULT LIKE SASQUATCH CUNNILINGUS

ORNAMENTAL GANGBANG

I JUST REALIZED I DID NOT GET ASKED TO SADIE HAWKINS THIS YEAR, AGAIN. SAD FACE.

GRISTLE COCK

TITS ARE OBVIOUS

FORKED CHERRY

EIDETIC FELATIO

SCROTAL CALCINOSIS

EPHEMERAL BONER

PRETEND YOU ARE IN AN ELEVATOR

ORPHANED TURKEY NECK

BOB SWIMS FOR SUICIDE PREVENTION

CLEFT HYMEN

STRIATED URETHRA

EXPENSIVE PONCHO

FEELING LIKE A SENSUAL COCKERSPANIEL

STYROFOAM VISION

CRINKLE CLIT

AGGRESSIVELY SAD

CHOAD BITER

KNOTT'S BERRY FARM MADE ME EMO

CHIK FIL A TIO

SEXY TOSTADA

BRISK HANDJOB

SOUTHERN GIRLS TASTE LIKE PINEAPPLE SHERBERT

I PUT THE ANAL IN ANALECTS

MENSTRUATING BUTTERFLY

NO MUTUAL FRIENDS

DOUCHE, DOUCHE, REVOLUTION

CLITORIS IN BLOOM

PASSIVE WHITE AGGRESSION

ANAL TREPIDATIONS

IN A STATE OF HELLO KITTY MENOPAUSE