November through January

I'm really bad at saving money.
I think that falls into one of the "life skills" categories.
Those are universally important usually.
I wonder how much money I spent on drugs when I was a kid.
I decided to try to make saving money more like an RPG by opening a savings account and then trying to fill it like an EXP bar.
I watch it rise on a month to month basis, but sometimes it goes down.
I probably did over thirty thousand dollars worth of drugs when I was a kid.
I wonder what kind of car I could have bought with that.

A few years ago, when I was 18.
I made a lot of money.
I spent most of it at strip clubs and on coke.
I remember not caring at all about it.
I would get more the next week and then do it again.
I hate myself.
A lot sometimes.

One of the strippers.
Well she was a waitress.
But she had to work with her top off.
I slept with her and her name was Shannon.
I called out her name in bed once and she looked over her shoulder and said 'stop that.'
Then she didn't call me back.
I heard later she got promoted to a stripper.

I got a check for Christmas this year from my grandparents.
Even though I'm twenty five.
I cashed it immediately.
I asked for my balance and watched her write it on the little square of paper.
Filling up my EXP bar.
I wanted to write a letter to my grandparents and tell them thank you.
I spend about a month before Christmas worrying about what to get for people.
I spend about a month after Christmas worrying about writing letters.
I suck at shopping.
Also I never write the letters.
The end of November through the end of January pretty much annually suck.

I had this fat friend at the time.
When I was striking out with the stripper.
We were hanging out and I went to the bathroom.
Shannon told me he asked for her number while I was gone.
It was weird.
The night I called her name out in bed he had been on the floor playing with my xbox.
It took like an hour to get him to acknowledge the hints to make him leave.
She was really tired by then and I was pretty mad at him.
I think I might still be mad at him.
I was trying to have sex with her.
He could have gone to his own house and played with his own xbox.
I don't think he had one though.

I wake up sometimes and think maybe my brain is worthless maybe.
I'm so going to level up when my tax return comes.
That part of January isn't so bad when you get your W2.