When I write, I rarely sit down and think, "Today I'm going to write that story about the bird." Instead I think, "Today I'm going to write out this feeling of regret I have in my stomach that's making me miserable and twitchy."
But then, when I read, I'm wondering if I pick up those thoughts of the author. The twitchy regretty thoughts. I'm wondering if readers, myself included, just read something and say, "That bird is crazy!" instead of understanding what the bird represents.
And then I think, what if no one gets what I'm saying with my stories? They've always been a way of communication for me. A way for me to be honest without having to be honest. And, recently, I've been thinking I'm shouting in a language no one speaks.
And everyone else is shouting at me and I'm sitting with my palm around my ear saying, "Come again?"
Am I alone in this paranoia?
Paranoia? Yes.
ReplyDeleteAlone? No.
You're not alone.
Being unheard is my greatest fear.
Another is finding myself unworthy to listen to.