So
I know I'm new here
but I gotta say
this community is bullshit
but before I rant about that
I need to thank every legitimate writer I've met so far
who writes because they need to
and every editor who actually reads
instead of just scanning publication credits
because you've taught me everything
but these fucking pretentious
circle jerking assholes, who are
more concerned with who to suck up to
and who will publish them because of it
than giving people credit for what they have to say
and loving what they do
you're shitting all over
everything
and you writers
with your your cheesy bio's
laundry lists of every place you've ever been
self deprecating remarks
begging for compliments
internet personas
full of fake coffee shop sadness
and
it's not even your fault
because
you know that these snobby, elitist editors
won't even look at your work unless
you've already broken the barrier
with some other snobby elitists first
because if you're unpublished
you're just going to get formulaic rejection forms
in return for something
you poured your heart into
until you find some journals that don't even read your bio
or care about your reputation
until after they've read your work
and
I don't want you to think I'm writing this
because I think I don't get a fair shake
I'm actually pretty sure all the rejection letters I get
are because the submissions weren't all that good
no
I'm writing this because
I think some of these
writers, poets, humans
don't get any honest attention to their work
because of this schoolyard popularity contest mentality
and don't receive honest critiques
from their peers or people 'in the scene'
so I gotta tell you:
I don't read your bio
I don't care where you've been published
if you're good, I'll show off your work
I'll probably even read your blog
but don't publish me because
you want me to do the same for you
fuck
tell me my poem sucked
and if you got time, tell me why
even if you want in on amphibi.us
because I promise you
I find it more insulting
to publish me
just because I call myself an editor
and can get you a few more hits.
10/31/10
10/27/10
T. CASEY BRENNAN
Actor Comics Presents #1 Variation ACentury, 1-Sep-2006
Fall 2006; Cover A by Joseph Michael Linser
The Day the Superheroes Quit; The Final Ka-Boom?; Dreamland Chronicles; The Mice Templar; Dirty, Pretty, Everlasting Things; I Know Everything; Hypothetical Cerebus and the Necronomicon Monks; The Sacrifice; My Hero; Puppets; The Wild One; Comes the Creaper!; For the Love of Barbara Allen; Mr. Oblivion; My Hand to God: True Tales of HORROR from the Convention Trail; No Rodeo Dough; Spot; My Favorite Super Hero
Writers: Jim McLauchlin, Stan Lee, C.B. Cebulski, Al Nickerson, Nicola Cuti, Scott Christian Sava, Bryan J.L. Glass, Danny Jalil, J.C. Vaughn, T. Casey Brennan, Ron Marz, Dick Ayers, William Messner-Loebs, Troy Hickman, Roy Thomas, Dan Wickline, Jerry Hinds, Mark Waid, Paul Dini, Tom Defalco, Frank Shaskus, John Gallagher, Scott Richard Kurtz, Charlie Novinskie
Artists: Joseph Michael Linsner, João Lemos, Joe Staton, Scott Christian Sava, Michael Avon Oeming, Bryan J.L. Glass, Jerry Hinds, Brendon Fraim, Brian Fraim, Dave Sim, Victor Santos, Dan Jurgens, Dave Simons, Dick Ayers, Dick Giordano, Rodolfo Migliari, Dave Alvarez, Julio Molina-Muscara, John Gallagher
10/25/10
DADDY. LINDSAY HUNTER. PRE-PUKE HOTTNESS. BIOTCH
(photo - Jacob Knabb)
Check out LINDSAY HUNTER's interview over at BIG OTHER. RYAN BRADLEY asks her some questions about her book DADDY. I'll give you a little something something here then just click anywhere on any of the words to read the interview in its entirety.
RWB: Obviously you don’t shy away from overt sexuality or bizarre sexuality in your stories, which would seem to purport a comfort level with things of a sexual nature (even if not to the degree your characters are). What do you think has shaped your openness to writing this sort of raw material that others might shy away from?
LH: I’m extremely comfortable talking about sex. I pretty much take for granted that everyone is just as comfortable reading/talking about it as I am. To me, sex is a core form of communication in literature. It’s a way of showing without telling (yep, I just said that). I almost can’t help writing about it sometimes. I think, though, that the reason I feel such permission to lay it all out like that is because I’ve had incredibly supportive audiences over the years—whether it be professors or peers or people I’m reading to at Quickies!—if all those people told me to take it somewhere else, I’d probably be writing technical manuals about C++ and frosting liquid cheese onto Velveeta cubes in an apartment with curtain walls.
RWB: Obviously you don’t shy away from overt sexuality or bizarre sexuality in your stories, which would seem to purport a comfort level with things of a sexual nature (even if not to the degree your characters are). What do you think has shaped your openness to writing this sort of raw material that others might shy away from?
LH: I’m extremely comfortable talking about sex. I pretty much take for granted that everyone is just as comfortable reading/talking about it as I am. To me, sex is a core form of communication in literature. It’s a way of showing without telling (yep, I just said that). I almost can’t help writing about it sometimes. I think, though, that the reason I feel such permission to lay it all out like that is because I’ve had incredibly supportive audiences over the years—whether it be professors or peers or people I’m reading to at Quickies!—if all those people told me to take it somewhere else, I’d probably be writing technical manuals about C++ and frosting liquid cheese onto Velveeta cubes in an apartment with curtain walls.
10/22/10
10/20/10
IF YOU ALREADY IN THE MITTEN... SUNDAY, OCTOBER, 24TH.
October Reading:
Sunday, October 24th, 2010, 5pm
The Neutral Zone
310 E. Washington St., Ann Arbor
www.neutral-zone.org
Donald Ray Pollock
Knockemstiff
Donald Ray Pollock grew up in southern Ohio, and worked in factories for thirty-two years. His first book, Knockemstiff, won the 2009 PEN/Robert Bingham Award.
http://donaldraypollock.com
Kim Chinquee
Pretty
Kim Chinquee is the author of Oh Baby and Pretty. She lives in Buffalo, New York.
www.kimchinquee.blogspot.com
Barry Graham
The National Virginity Pledge
Barry Graham teaches at rutgers university and he wrote the national virginity pledge.
www.barrygfunk.blogspot.com
Scott McClanahan
Scott McClanahan is the author of Stories and Stories II (published by Six Gallery Press). His other works include Hillbilly, Stories 5!, The Nightmares and Crapalachia (all forthcoming)
www.hollerpresents.com
http://www.greatlakesgreattimes.net/
Sunday, October 24th, 2010, 5pm
The Neutral Zone
310 E. Washington St., Ann Arbor
www.neutral-zone.org
Donald Ray Pollock
Knockemstiff
Donald Ray Pollock grew up in southern Ohio, and worked in factories for thirty-two years. His first book, Knockemstiff, won the 2009 PEN/Robert Bingham Award.
http://donaldraypollock.com
Kim Chinquee
Pretty
Kim Chinquee is the author of Oh Baby and Pretty. She lives in Buffalo, New York.
www.kimchinquee.blogspot.com
Barry Graham
The National Virginity Pledge
Barry Graham teaches at rutgers university and he wrote the national virginity pledge.
www.barrygfunk.blogspot.com
Scott McClanahan
Scott McClanahan is the author of Stories and Stories II (published by Six Gallery Press). His other works include Hillbilly, Stories 5!, The Nightmares and Crapalachia (all forthcoming)
www.hollerpresents.com
http://www.greatlakesgreattimes.net/
CONTEST FROM CURBSIDE PRESS... AND MAKE SURE YOU READ THIS SHITS CUZ YOU CAN WIN SOME MONEY
Winter 2010 Curbside Award Opportunity
We are happy to announce the first ever Curbside Splendor short story award opportunity. It’s limited to short stories of between 1,000 and 4,000 words. We want to see urban-themed stories, however interpreted. The top three (as judged by our editors) will receive the following awards:
1st - $250
2nd - $150
3rd - $100
The top three entries will be featured in our first print journal due out early 2011 and may also be published online. All entries received will be considered for general publication.
Submission deadline is November 30, 2010. Recepients will be announced in December. Please send to submit@curbsidesplendor.com and include “2010 Award Opportunity Submission” in the subject line. Include a short bio. All entries should be included as an attachment (word, rtf – no pdfs), and should be double-spaced. See the following link for our general submission guidelines.
We’ll also continue to consider general submissions of poetry and prose during this period. We’ll try to alternate our award opportunities between prose and poetry.
Sorry, but only submissions received between now and November 30 will be considered for the awards. If you’ve already submitted and are still waiting for a response, feel free to submit a new piece for the award.
Thanks for writing. Cheers to the small presses.
10/19/10
TORN PUSSY CELEBRATION TIME
Today is 10.19.2010
Our own Barry Graham and Donora Hillard are celebrating birthdays.
They turned old (if you were wondering).
Here is a pic of young b putting the moves on an unsuspecting sugar bird:
& here is a pic of young d looking all alone and emotional:
Please thank them for existing. They are both worthwhile human beings and fucking rad writers.
Our own Barry Graham and Donora Hillard are celebrating birthdays.
They turned old (if you were wondering).
Here is a pic of young b putting the moves on an unsuspecting sugar bird:
& here is a pic of young d looking all alone and emotional:
Please thank them for existing. They are both worthwhile human beings and fucking rad writers.
10/17/10
SUNDAY SAM PINK
A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF SEX ACTUALLY FEELS BAD.
With a piece of the sidewalk nailed behind my face, I'd still find a way to lift my face.
With a piece of the sidewalk nailed behind my face, nothing would change.
I'd still lift my face and keep it off the ground.
I'd still change nothing.
With two lives I would use the first to figure out how to make the next one even worse.
Do you believe me.
We can meet in the corner of space where people forget to check--where I do things I have to do with my eyes closed.
The fifth orgasm rips the groin the bestest and I am a beautiful human.
I eat jewelery and give nothing in return.
And youth is the thing that keeps ending.
Unlikely future.
No one has to protect the animal with the big jaw from the cross-eyed palsey holding a bb gun.
The cross-eyed palsey with the bb gun threatens nothing.
The ground will get cold soon and I'm waiting to be there, to freeze with it and be cold until the sun tries its best to get beneath and cook me.
I actually feel ill with how negative I have become. But I don't have any negative feelings about the carpet in my apartment.
And I don't have any positive feelings about cleaning it.
I only have interest in continuing to rub my feet on it then sending electricity through my nose to my roomate's cat's nose to give my roommate's cat braindamage (hopefully [wink wink]).
All things keep ending.
Do you believe me.
SP, Frowns Need Friends Too, 2009
With a piece of the sidewalk nailed behind my face, I'd still find a way to lift my face.
With a piece of the sidewalk nailed behind my face, nothing would change.
I'd still lift my face and keep it off the ground.
I'd still change nothing.
With two lives I would use the first to figure out how to make the next one even worse.
Do you believe me.
We can meet in the corner of space where people forget to check--where I do things I have to do with my eyes closed.
The fifth orgasm rips the groin the bestest and I am a beautiful human.
I eat jewelery and give nothing in return.
And youth is the thing that keeps ending.
Unlikely future.
No one has to protect the animal with the big jaw from the cross-eyed palsey holding a bb gun.
The cross-eyed palsey with the bb gun threatens nothing.
The ground will get cold soon and I'm waiting to be there, to freeze with it and be cold until the sun tries its best to get beneath and cook me.
I actually feel ill with how negative I have become. But I don't have any negative feelings about the carpet in my apartment.
And I don't have any positive feelings about cleaning it.
I only have interest in continuing to rub my feet on it then sending electricity through my nose to my roomate's cat's nose to give my roommate's cat braindamage (hopefully [wink wink]).
All things keep ending.
Do you believe me.
SP, Frowns Need Friends Too, 2009
10/15/10
PASSIVE HETEROPHOBIA
10/14/10
THE ULTIMATE FLASH FICTION PACKAGE
Hint Fiction: An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer hits bookstores on November 1st here in the United States, and to celebrate, we’re having a contest!
First, what is Hint Fiction? Inspired by Ernest Hemingway’s six-word story — “For sale: baby shoes, never worn” — Hint Fiction is a story of 25 words or fewer that suggests a larger, more complex story. The anthology features 125 stories by writers worldwide, including such luminaries as Joyce Carol Oates, James Frey, Peter Straub, and Ha Jin. Here is what people are saying already:
“The perfect story collection for all of us with too little time on our hands is a brilliant reminder of the magic that happens when you string the right words together. A must-read for anyone who is or wants to be a writer.” — Jodi Picoult, New York Times bestselling author of House Rules
“Some of these stories suggest entire novels in just few words. So, in this small book, you have a whole library. It’s reading at the speed of light.” — Robert Shapard, editor of Sudden Fiction and Flash Fiction
“The stories in Robert Swartwood’s Hint Fiction have some serious velocity. Some explode, some needle, some bleed, and some give the reader room to dream. They’re fun and addictive, like puzzles or haiku or candy. I’ve finished mine but I want more.” — Stewart O’Nan, author of Last Night at the Lobster and Songs for the Missing
The anthology is currently available for pre-order at:
W. W. Norton
IndieBound
Amazon (USA)
Amazon (CA)
Barnes & Noble
Books-A-Million
Borders
Powell’s Books
You can follow Hint Fiction on Twitter, “like” it on Facebook, and even add it to your shelf on Goodreads.
Now what’s the Ultimate Flash Fiction Package? These eight wonderful anthologies of course!
Hint Fiction: An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
Flash Fiction: 72 Very Short Stories
Flash Fiction Forward: 80 Very Short Stories
New Sudden Fiction: Short-Short Stories from America and Beyond
Sudden Fiction International: 60 Short Stories
Sudden Fiction (Continued): 60 New Short-Short Stories
Sudden Fiction Latino: Short-Short Stories from the United States and Latin America
Micro Fiction: An Anthology of Fifty Really Short Stories
The total cost for these eight books is $120.00, and it can all be yours.
How?
By simply linking back to this contest. Put it on your blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Then paste the URL in the comments section of this post (if on Facebook or any other password-protected site, paste your profile URL). The contest runs until midnight, October 31st, EST. A winner will be picked by random and notified by e-mail and announced here November 1st. Five runners-up will receive a copy of Hint Fiction.
Have fun!
http://www.robertswartwood.com/hint-fiction/the-ultimate-flash-fiction-package/
First, what is Hint Fiction? Inspired by Ernest Hemingway’s six-word story — “For sale: baby shoes, never worn” — Hint Fiction is a story of 25 words or fewer that suggests a larger, more complex story. The anthology features 125 stories by writers worldwide, including such luminaries as Joyce Carol Oates, James Frey, Peter Straub, and Ha Jin. Here is what people are saying already:
“The perfect story collection for all of us with too little time on our hands is a brilliant reminder of the magic that happens when you string the right words together. A must-read for anyone who is or wants to be a writer.” — Jodi Picoult, New York Times bestselling author of House Rules
“Some of these stories suggest entire novels in just few words. So, in this small book, you have a whole library. It’s reading at the speed of light.” — Robert Shapard, editor of Sudden Fiction and Flash Fiction
“The stories in Robert Swartwood’s Hint Fiction have some serious velocity. Some explode, some needle, some bleed, and some give the reader room to dream. They’re fun and addictive, like puzzles or haiku or candy. I’ve finished mine but I want more.” — Stewart O’Nan, author of Last Night at the Lobster and Songs for the Missing
The anthology is currently available for pre-order at:
W. W. Norton
IndieBound
Amazon (USA)
Amazon (CA)
Barnes & Noble
Books-A-Million
Borders
Powell’s Books
You can follow Hint Fiction on Twitter, “like” it on Facebook, and even add it to your shelf on Goodreads.
Now what’s the Ultimate Flash Fiction Package? These eight wonderful anthologies of course!
Hint Fiction: An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer
Flash Fiction: 72 Very Short Stories
Flash Fiction Forward: 80 Very Short Stories
New Sudden Fiction: Short-Short Stories from America and Beyond
Sudden Fiction International: 60 Short Stories
Sudden Fiction (Continued): 60 New Short-Short Stories
Sudden Fiction Latino: Short-Short Stories from the United States and Latin America
Micro Fiction: An Anthology of Fifty Really Short Stories
The total cost for these eight books is $120.00, and it can all be yours.
How?
By simply linking back to this contest. Put it on your blog, Facebook, Twitter, etc. Then paste the URL in the comments section of this post (if on Facebook or any other password-protected site, paste your profile URL). The contest runs until midnight, October 31st, EST. A winner will be picked by random and notified by e-mail and announced here November 1st. Five runners-up will receive a copy of Hint Fiction.
Have fun!
http://www.robertswartwood.com/hint-fiction/the-ultimate-flash-fiction-package/
10/13/10
Another Chicago Magazine has a BLOG!
We at ACM are in the midst of several huge projects, one of which is radically enhancing our website, which means more online content! We'll be posting archives, online only poetry/fiction/cnf/reviews/photos, and other wonderful stuffs. And we wanted to post here at Thirdface to let ya'all know about it.
But, most importantly for now, what we want to tell you about is that we're blogging! That's right, blogging. You might ask yourself, what benefit would it be to me to go to that new ACM blog? Why would I consider it RSS-worthy? My feed is already so cluttered as it is!
Well, friend, I am here to tell you that you can find such splendorous things at our blog! Oh yes! And slanderous too! Why, just two days ago we composed a dirty limerick! And you know that you like dirty limericks. I'll even include it here so you can see the delights awaiting you when you click through and start following along with the continuing adventures of ACM!
ACM's Dirty Limerick:
There once was a bellhop named Royster
Who fancied his woman an oyster
With his cock he did swirl
To recover her pearl
In the end she could not have been moister
But, most importantly for now, what we want to tell you about is that we're blogging! That's right, blogging. You might ask yourself, what benefit would it be to me to go to that new ACM blog? Why would I consider it RSS-worthy? My feed is already so cluttered as it is!
Well, friend, I am here to tell you that you can find such splendorous things at our blog! Oh yes! And slanderous too! Why, just two days ago we composed a dirty limerick! And you know that you like dirty limericks. I'll even include it here so you can see the delights awaiting you when you click through and start following along with the continuing adventures of ACM!
ACM's Dirty Limerick:
There once was a bellhop named Royster
Who fancied his woman an oyster
With his cock he did swirl
To recover her pearl
In the end she could not have been moister
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